Women's Ministry Journal:
Today is Wednesday May 1st. Only four days left until the Marathon including today. I’m getting nervous and excited at the same time. I am nervous about what kind of shape my foot will be in after the race. I hurt it a few weeks ago. I know I should have been taking better care of it, and told everyone I would go see a doctor after the race. All the women are pretty excited and hopefully at the details with that will be sorted out soon. Pray for one of our ladies, Denise. She is struggling with some health issues, and is not sure if she will be able to participate in the race anymore. Pray for her to be healed, but also pray that if she can’t run we could find another friend to run her leg of the marathon.
So I decided to start keeping this journal to hold myself accountable and just to be able to look back and reflect on my time at the ministry and all that God has been doing. I hope to do maybe two entries a week about my work here and just think about what God is teaching or showing me and even just the on goings. This is a good idea and I should have done this month ago, it’s good to be thinking about all that the Lord has been doing and showing me. It’s good to reflect on this because I have been praying that God would show me more of who he is this year and I would know him better. Maybe these reflections could eventually become a blog that people could read if they wanted to support me. So I have been officially working with L.I.V.I.N.G Ministry for four months tomorrow, from January 2nd to May 2nd. It’s been an interesting yet blessed experience so far. I am working as the Director of Women’s outreach. This sounds like such a fancy title, and it’s definitely hasn’t been as glamorous as it sounds. It’s been nothing short of a challenge as I have been seeing more of my own short comings, and more of how much I need God’s grace, prayer and support from other people; it’s been a very humbling thing.
This week I have been reflecting a few things, the first thing is what I am learning about myself. The ministry is running the Marathon on Sunday May 5th and we are trying to raise 7,000 dollars for the Ministry. So far we have raised 5,600 which is an incredible feat! I am running the relay with Lindsey (colleague at the ministry), and three friends (women we serve) Monica, Katie, and Denise. We are running together and I am trying to raise $500 for our team. So to be honest for the past month I have been thinking about how I need to do my part for the Ministry and raise my $500 dollars. I have been thinking I really need to call people and ask and I need to do that soon. Well the weeks went by and I still didn’t do it. I came to terms with the fact two weeks ago that really the problem wasn’t that I couldn’t start fundraising; it was that I didn’t want to. I was afraid to ask people for money, I was afraid to reach out and ask.
 I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week, since it is the final week the Lord has been doing a number on my pride. I have so much pride! I’ve always hated to ask for help even when it’s necessary. I realized that I could just say I asked for money and then claim no one gave but what would that be? The beginning of this week, I reluctantly started asking people. This was only to appease my guilt over not having done my part to get donations for the marathon when the rest of my team mates had. However yesterday Monica, Jenna and I went to the park to walk around and prepare for the marathon. As we were walking around and just talking enjoying one another’s company, I realized something. I am asking for money has nothing to do with me; it’s not at all about me. It’s about Monica and the men and women we serve. It’s about being able to continue as a ministry and serve these men and women. It’s about having moments, afternoons, and days like this with Monica, praying together and reflecting on who Jesus is. It’s about women we help move into their apartments, or women who just want companionship and friendship. Women who might only have us in their lives as proof that the Gospel is true and that Jesus Christ really did overcome the world and that his power and love really is a reason to follow and trust him.
I think about how much God has blessed me through the people he has brought into my life. I think about how much God has give and provided for me not just spiritually, but emotionally, physically and it seems to have all come through knowing and being known and finding other brothers and sisters in Christ to talk with, open up to, pray with and I feel so blessed. Raising this money is about these people we serve, and being the body of Christ to them. Being example of Christ humility and love, and loving them. Why wouldn’t I ask? Why wouldn’t I do it joyfully and faithfully if it meant I was loving them and caring for them (with the love that Jesus lavishly provides). He has already lavished his love upon me, so I have this love to give to others. I can't withhold it, I can't only be concerned with my selfish pride. And I guess most importantly why I wouldn’t trust Christ to provide? This week what I think I’ve been learning is, God is faithful and he provides.
 It’s funny how I never really realized before this year (though he has provided all of my life). It seems like within the past two years I have been in the most need of provision. And it seems all the things I was worried about before and would pray frantically about, God has richly provided for all of those things. When I was about to graduate and be on my own in the world, he provided a job for me that would allow me to pay off my school loans, and provide for all that I needed; not to mention a job where I have been richly blessed and I get to serve others in his name, and is growing me closer to Christ. He also provided wonderful community in my church who have reached out and loved me. He has also provided a great friendships with brothers and sisters who have been such an encouragement and support to me. He is now more than enough providing for my housing situation as I need to be moving in less than a month; two families have offered to let me live with them! God is so good and he continues to provide for his people and care for them. To him be all the glory and honor and praise. I love you Lord.